A couple of days ago, in a wicked snit about something I'd just witnessed on TV, I did what I've disapproved of in other Kossacks and bloggers, namely, I  wrote a really radioactive diary.  

I'm a 55-year-old white woman.  Our greatest matter of urgency in America is to be sure a Democrat becomes President in November, and to get as many Democrats as possible elected to both houses of Congress.  We need to do the same thing at state and local levels.

I've been writing diaries for some time about struggling to climb out of poverty.  I've written about how I fell into poverty, by becoming disabled with pain.  Kossacks have replied in comments, asking why I'm not collecting disability benefits or other government assistance.  Here is why:  

Most of the diaries published in recent months have been about the elections--the various state primaries and the approaching national election.  My diary may deal with struggles with poverty--mine and those of other Kossacks, as I always see in comments--but this diary is about the elections and the candidates, every bit as much as diaries written specifically about the elections.

Looking up at the "poverty line" from below, the rules are different.  I'm emerging from a lengthy, costly disability.  When you haven't been gainfully employed for several years, that's one strike against you.  And the hiring practices of corporate America strike again.

In the space of under half an hour a few nights ago, I had a frightening, compelling lesson in the fact of race and gender not functioning as a matter of either/or; rather, the issues are mixed like the ingredients of a scrambled egg, like the forces of nature versus nurture.  

I haven't written a diary in awhile because everyone has been so preoccupied with the elections.

Speaking of which, unlike some Kossacks who are firmly in the Clinton or the Obama camp, I am truly agonizing over which candidate to support.  I'm trying to ignore the distractions--Clinton's Bosnia distortion, Obama's Reverend Wright--and focus on the issues:

My diaries are first drafts.  I don't write them to dazzle anyone, obviously.  I hope to inform and lend moral support to others trying to bear up under the kinds of hardships I'm facing.  I go into detail about my situation reluctantly, and the reluctance comes only because this issue, poverty, is way bigger than me.

I'm going to share a matter that's a little off-topic from my usual theme of life below the "poverty line," though this is about powerful corporations showing their usual greed, so it's still related to poverty.  Then I'm going to write some about poverty and wealth.

In my previous diary I called the current growing American gap between the rich and poor "savagery."  A conservative Kossack replied to that choice of words, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I know I'm quirky, personally and sometimes in my choice of words.  But I stand by my choice in this instance.  True, it isn't savagery to compare with what's happening in Darfur; the American poor aren't being burned or hacked alive.  

One Kossack replied to a previous diary of mine to point out that she sees some of the same attitudes toward the poor in the middle class that I described in some of my wealthy acquaintances.  She is right.  I've seen them as well, and in fact, I've noticed to my dismay that the poor sometimes share those attitudes.  At least, they share them to the extent that they would indignantly turn down an offer of financial help.  

I had trouble getting to sleep last night.  The worry caught up with me--over money, of course, and the neglect resulting.  Last night it was mainly worry over my crumbling teeth.  When I was suffering badly with pain, with no hope of relief, I was clenching my teeth tightly in my sleep night after night.  The result: I need crowns on eight cracked molars, and no way of paying for it.

...and the "poverty line" is higher than we're led to believe.  The official poverty line isn't accurate.  Far more of us are poor, through no fault of our own, than we're led to believe.

I read the diary of One Brave Kossack (OBK) here (I'm sorry, I haven't mastered the art of inserting links in my diary), and it has haunted me since.  He wrote about being penniless and homeless and facing a medical crisis in Iowa.    

I offer a personal anecdote.  My diary is about political and social issues, but it isn't heavy on data and analysis.  I draw heavily on personal experience that too many Americans are having--hard-working, honest Americans who don't deserve to be punished for their honesty and hard work.

My main goal in writing this diary is to offer solitarity with, and hopefully suggestions for, those struggling and in poverty.  I'm there myself, and struggling to escape poverty.  I know how harrowing it is, and I know what a slap in the face it is to hear the slander that we're lazy, we're unintelligent, and we envy the wealthy, we just don't want to work to become wealthy ourselves.

I try to be fair.  I try to avoid being lopsided and turning a blind eye to Democratic abuses of power while condemning the same abuses committed by Republicans.  Emotions and strong feelings can easily affect how we interpret what we see, so I try to safeguard against that.  I'm aware of how I can let my emotions get the better of  me, so I force myself to stop, back up, and think rationally.

....and that line isn't what the government tells you it is.  Those of us living it know where it is.  Once you've fallen below it, you don't need the government to tell you you're there.  Nothing like multi-millionaires telling us whether or not we're officially poor.  It's like a man telling a woman in childbirth that she isn't feeling pain, she's feeling "pressure."  Anyway.  I've read a couple of diaries recently by Kossacks also suffering financially.  So I wanted to share a couple of resources I've checked into, in hopes that I can help a struggling Kossack.

I've been circulating my resume in hopes of finding contract copy editing work.  A couple of weeks back I wrote up a version of my resume minus personal contact information, for security reasons, and I posted this version on Philadelphia's Craig's List, in the "Resumes" category.

I had one response.  It was from a male proprietor of a home remodeling business in a Philadelphia suburb (the Philly burbs are heavily Republican).