Ten Good Things about a Mitt Romney Presidency! w/poll

Disclaimer: No Republican candidate is going to win the White House in 2008. I will support the Democratic nominee, whomever he/she is. I do not support any of the GOP candidates listed below. Nevertheless, just to cheer you on the bumpy road towards victory, I have reflected and come up with these "brighter side" aspects, if the impossible happened and Giuliani, Romney, Thompson or Huckabee became President. Think about these points, and be happy.

Ten Good Things about a Giuliani Presidency:

1. He's not ________. (candidate you hate even more)

2. We will stop worrying about sliding towards fascism.

3. He'll make cross-dressing respectable.

4. We'll have two First Ladies.

5. No danger of Americans forgetting September 11th.

6. High probability of first White House divorce.

7. We'll develop closer ties to Qatar and Hugo Chavez.

8. He'll keep unruly, disloyal firefighters in their place.

9. The Secret Service will take over the job of walking Judi's dog, freeing the NYPD to fight crime.

10. He'll keep the world safe from Ron Paul.

Ten Good Things about a Mitt Romney presidency:

1. He's not _______ (candidate you hate even more)

2. No more coddling of family pets.

3. He will have paid his own way to the White House.

4. Disappointment will be impossible.

5. All-Democratic Congress in 2010 except for Utah & Idaho.

6. He will dampen Americans' desire for a faith-based candidate.

7. Won't have enough credibility to start another war

8. Congress may reconsider the issue of polygamy, opening the door for other definitions of marriage.

9. Jello will be served at state dinners (see Mormon jokes)

10. He will keep the world safe from Ron Paul.

Ten Good Things about a Fred Thompson Presidency:

1. He's not ________. (candidate you hate even more)

2. He smells like Ronald Reagan.

3. Too befuddled to start another war.

4. He'll be an advocate for [rich] elderly and retired persons, especially with McCain as V.P.

5. His Presidency will increase the drive for an Alzheimer's breakthrough.

6. He enunciates a clear, consistent ideology--Grumpy-Old-Manism.

7. May appoint Sam Waterston as Attorney General.

8. Assassination unlikely.

9. Executive power will diminish the day he is sworn in.

10. He'll keep the world safe from Ron Paul.

Ten Good Things about a Mike Huckabee Presidency:

1. He's not ________. (candidate you hate even more)

2. He may well extinguish Americans' desire for a faith-based candidate.

3. TR's "bully pulpit" no longer a figure of speech.

4. Even atheists will understand the need to be saved.

5. We'll have all-Democratic Congress in 2010.

6. We'll develop closer ties to Edom, Samaria, and Ur of the Chaldees.

7. He will end the war.

8. Unfortunately it will be the "War on Christmas".

9. We will stop worrying about sliding towards theocracy.

10. He'll keep the world safe from Ron Paul.