My last flight I was flagged because of a gift I was bringing for a friend's daughter.

Yep, they wanded me, and searched my luggage, because the gift I was bringing was a bright orange alarm clock with a cat's face, shaped like an old-fashioned alarm clock (with orange "bells" on the top.)

When I asked why I was flagged, the screener told me that "old-fashioned alarm clock" was on the list of suspicious articles.

"But it meows!" I said. "Just let me push the button and show you."

"No! You can't touch it until we've finished examining it."

I was good humored about the whole thing, but really -- where the hell would terrorists even find an old-fashioned bell alarm clock these days?

And surely an orange cat clock -- that meows -- would be even lower on their list of articles in which to stash a bomb, unless those particular terrorists were into kitsch.

But lucky thing I was laughing through the whole process -- and made the clock meow as soon as I could.

Lord knows if I'd been pissed off, or afraid I'd miss my flight -- I might have been strip searched over a clock that meows.

Oops, so am I!

My having had a hip replacement this summer, I am now subjected to a full wanding and pat down every time I go through security.  So I'm a would-be criminal because I had surgery.  At least at SeaTac they kept an eye on my stuff--purse, laptop.  At O'Hare, anyone could have walked off with my belonging.  I feel SO much safer knowing that they pull people like me (late middle-aged business-type female) out of line for special treatment.  Patrick Smith from Slate has written some on this whole thing in Ask the Pilot.