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There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your week. By the way, is there anyone here who knows how to run a government?
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:17:17 AM PDT
I'm gonna try out "What is that smell??"
Don't trust any UID over [insert current highest number here].
by pattyp on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:21:51 AM PDT
[ Parent ]
... "Man, I can't wait to eat those nachos."
"As the Bible says, 'Screw that!'" --- Homer Simpson
by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:23:34 AM PDT
a flash of feelings that in a fraction of a second reflects emotions such as fear, anger, surprise or contempt, said Carl Maccario
Well, they should be f*ckin' used to those by now.
Chaos. It's not just a theory.
by PBnJ on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:39:44 AM PDT
Wear a t-shirt that says "Official breast examiner", get really drunk at the airport bar ahead of time, and when standing in line, yell "SPRING BREAK RULES! WHOO!" over and over.
Doesn't matter that it might not be spring break when you do it. TSA employees have never been to college.
Fool me once, I'll punch you in the fucking head.
by HollywoodOz on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 03:08:11 PM PDT
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:23:53 AM PDT
My least favorite face: "George Bush when he thinks he's just made a great point while speechifyin'."
by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:25:39 AM PDT
Mariachi Mama Candidate Bickering Moratorium! Signatory to the Carnacki Petition
by kredwyn on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:26:26 AM PDT
"when I take my shoes off at the x-ray machine, everyone will know my socks don't match."
Or perhaps, "hey dude behind me, I am using that plastic bin, get your goddamn mitts off of it!"
"Not just with words, but with deeds." -- Barack Obama
by kath25 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:26:31 AM PDT
..my socks usually don't match, but I make sure to wear matching socks when I fly. It's silly, though, since no one really notices or cares.
by justalittlebitcrazy on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:27:51 AM PDT
In St. Louis security is a joke. Not so much in Boston, they're not messing around. I often think to myself "the weakest link."
Let us not forget New Orleans. Visit Project Katrina.
by webranding on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:29:18 AM PDT
I wonder how George W. Bush would react to being flayed
There, that was easy.
Two war crimes make 'the right', not 'a right'. Defeat the liar John McCain.
by Yellow Canary on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:38:51 AM PDT
I'm usually trying to stifle a giggle, because whenever I see the airport security people, I can't help but think about the Squeaky Voiced Teen from "The Simpsons."
They're both just terrible at whatever they do.
by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:29:27 AM PDT
I see them as an minute improvement over the clueless screeners we used to have. That said, I usually have a look of either contempt or anger on my face, but it's not aimed at airport screeners. It's aimed at the 'state of things', so to speak. So I may be subject to this stupidity in the future, but I hope not.
Vote with your conscience, O Progressive, for there are many Conservatives who will vote without one.
by MahFellaMerkins on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:35:22 AM PDT
We flew on several Chinese airlines between Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Xiamen, Beijing, and Shanghai this fall, and it was pretty damned funny.
No removal of shoes. No removal of laptops of cameras. There was the "liquid/gel" thing when we were returning from Beijing to Chicago (we snagged a couple of the Chinese carryon ziplock bags with cool pictures and Mandarin as souvenirs). In Shanghai, our son had a 12 oz can of Dr Pepper in his bookbag (he hadn't had one in two months and we happened to see Dr Pepper for sale at a store right before we left the hotel for the airport.) The Chinese security guy popped the top to the can and waved his hand over the top to sniff it - and then handed it around the metal detector to my son so he could chug it before the flight. It will be interesting to see how they handle security with the Olympics.
One thing about Chinese airlines that we flew on - they're efficient. They can load a slam full 767 or Airbus 321 in 10 minutes. They don't care if people are standing up or still putting stuff away - they push back at the alloted time, and the safety video is often playing while the plane is taking off and already airborne. :)
by Sharon Jumper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:46:30 AM PDT
by surferal on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:51:16 PM PDT
I flew Air China, Shanghai Air, and Xiamen Airlines. All good service, new planes...most had in-seat video and power ports - and even on a 1 hr flight, we not only got two drinks, but also a meal.
by Sharon Jumper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:57:07 PM PDT
Unless you get caught by the "carryon troll" at the Guangzhou airport who weighs your carryon and makes you check it. I almost got arrested for dissing him. I finally decided that getting out of China was more important than trying to carry a second bag onto the plane. So I pulled my laptop out of the wheeled bag and then checked that one.
Gordon Smith must go.
by vard on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 02:01:15 PM PDT
with that face.
by kredwyn on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:35:23 AM PDT
really should have a lot more Recommends. :-(
by pattyp on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:49:42 PM PDT
But the problem, as noted above, is that great security at most airports doesn't mean squat if there are others that routinely go through the motions, but wouldn't even notice if the x-ray machine quit working.
Single payer universal healthcare coverage saves money and saves lives.
by freelunch on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:37:47 AM PDT
My sons always seem to wear their most raggedy socks with holes in the heels and toes when we fly somewhere.
by Sharon Jumper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:39:11 AM PDT
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:30:15 AM PDT
"It just suddenly occurred to me that the beef samosas and curried chicken might have been a bad choice for my pre-flight meal -- especially considering the fact that we'll all be breathing our own recycled air for the next 8 hours"
by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:32:41 AM PDT
the "is it naptime yet?" face.
by kredwyn on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:34:02 AM PDT
"dude, this headache sucks."
by kath25 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:35:33 AM PDT
it's going to be "so why did I agree to meet with that student who didn't show up?" face.
by kredwyn on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:37:28 AM PDT
;-)
I stopped at 4 bourbons.
by droogie6655321 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:37:44 AM PDT
no, not that. i have had a huge pile of freelance work these past few days. at least i will start the new year in the black.
and i need coffee.
by kath25 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:54:24 AM PDT
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:35:34 AM PDT
now my expression says, "eeeww, iconoclastic cat has been swimming in raw sewage again."
by kath25 on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:36:07 AM PDT
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:38:13 AM PDT
Surely you jest...
by mmacdDE on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:59:53 PM PDT
Heh. Jest kiddin'.
I won't be complacent this time. Been there, done that, got the orange jumpsuit.
by Nowhere Man on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 02:20:32 PM PDT
He even used "surely" in the body ;)
by ndhapple on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:03:30 PM PDT
Heh.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
by bigtimecynic on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:04:18 PM PDT
If you aren't outraged, you are an idiot
by indefinitelee on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:15:25 PM PDT
brought a container of Haitian curried goat and once he opened it, the whole plane reeked of it...people were flipping out...I thought it was hilarious....
by surferal on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:53:01 PM PDT
...George just after the 'ole pull my finger number...
*John McCain is aware of the Internet*
by MichaelPH on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:03:19 PM PDT
just what a cannibal on ecstasy would smell like. Which is probably for the best anyway.
by pattyp on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:46:12 AM PDT
Reflecting the thought: "People are awesome!!! I can't believe I've been eating PEOPLE!!!"
"A person is as free as they believe themselves to be off." - Fortune cookie
by The Termite on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:07:32 PM PDT
You know what I'm talkin' about. ;-)
But still, what about the smell? I guess it would be a combination of sweat, Sweet-tarts, and Vicks nasal inhalers. Oh and human flesh.
by pattyp on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 12:10:40 PM PDT
Funny smells could lead to swabbing and body cavity searches.
by Sharon Jumper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:38:23 AM PDT
Runs With Scissors is sending me a bunch of yarn that's riddled with the stink of cigarette smoke thanks to her parents.
I'm wondering what the looks at the post office are going to be like with that box.
by kredwyn on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:41:39 AM PDT
....when the airport bartender asks if you'd like a top-shelf shot with that draft for only three dollars more....
by greenskeeper on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:26:32 AM PDT
but I will still feel up that TSA official with my eyes. Especially the ones at O'Hare, because they have so much cushioning...
by iconoclastic cat on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:29:07 AM PDT
They can't convince some Aer Lingus flight attendants to come on over to the dark side.
To announce...that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
by potownman on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 02:19:12 PM PDT
Is that like the drunken frat party girl on the SNL skits??
I wanna see you go through TSA -- pleeeeeease!!?
by PBnJ on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 11:38:23 AM PDT
that's the one i'm going to practice.
you know, the one that superficially looks like a big toothy smile on the outside, but you can tell back behind there the brain and larynx are silently repeating what an a-hole what an a-hole what an a-hole...
i figure i can pull that one off at the airport with a high degree of authenticity. and if that look is on the no-fly list, well then 90% of the politicians and business honchos aren't going anywhere.
l'audace! l'audace! toujours l'audace!
by zeke L on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 01:05:29 PM PDT
checkin.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." --Groucho Marx,
by Flippant on Wed Jan 02, 2008 at 01:12:44 PM PDT
wide narrow
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